Torn by Yoshi

Here a glimpse into my book. Holla if you are interested in reading the rest.


As usual, yours truly Ms. Alexandria Hawkins is stuck in the office working on a stack of paperwork and event plans while the rest of Atlanta gets to enjoy a day in the sun, I mean they don’t call this “Hotlanta” for nothing. If only just once, I wish I could skip the whole work scene, layout on an exotic sandy beach, and just forget my everyday drama called life. But with the life that I live, it will always just merely be a thought I have when I daydream, and a wish that I ask for when I pray at night. Don’t get me wrong, I do love my job. How many young, single, childless, sexy black women do you know that can say that they own their own business, make enough income to live a very high fashion and glamorous life, and get paid to party 3-4 days out of the week? Not many, like I said, life is great, but like they say, with everything good comes something bad.

One of those many bad occurrences is the fact that I don’t have time for myself or love. Just look at me, I’m a 29 year old single, young, gorgeous, athletically built, caramel skinned sister, with a horrible love life. I don’t even think Halle Berry can place next to me, but I’ve been working so hard these past few years getting my company up and running that I haven’t found the time to meet any new people. The guys I do meet are either clients or someone who has no business looking at or even talking to another woman, if you get my drift. It’s nice to have money and be able to afford everything I want, but the cash just can’t keep me warm at night. Believe me the smell of a hundred dollar bill gets me a little hot and bothered, but that image of rolling in a bed full of money does nothing, but leave paper cuts in the morning.

I have been seeing this one particular guy, if you can even call it that. It’s really more of a friend with benefits type of relationship. You know what I’m talking about; the one that only involves sex. I can’t even remember in detail how it even happened; all I remember was that we met each at this little boutique downtown, had a few drinks, and ended up in bed that same night. Now it’s four months later, and he and I are still going at it like little rabbits. The sex is amazing, I mean, I’ve done stuff with him that a few years back I was only reading in books and seeing in the special movies. Let’s not forget that the man is gorgeous. Ladies, he comes in at 6’2”, weighing in at 225 pounds of muscle. He has that nice silky dark skin, and when he puts his arm around you, your body just melts. The best feature of this man are not his lips that are so soft, or the piercing hazelnut brown eyes, but the length of his third leg, if you get what I mean. Oh my God, he is truly a blessed man. Okay, I’m getting off topic, back to the problems of my life.

With my hectic lifestyle, I enjoy what we have, but I’m at that point where I’m ready for more out of life. I want to be in a serious relationship that has an outlook of marriage. It also doesn’t help that my mother is an annoying banshee that is constantly nagging me about my love life and nonexistent grandchildren. With the chaos of my life and career, I need to get my priorities in order, which might mean ending things with my friend with benefits. Here in lies the problem, because I think that I am starting to catch feelings for him, and I don’t know what to do. Do I tell him that I want more from him, and have him reject me or do I just go with the flow and wait it out? If you listen to my best friend Tiffany, then it’s all really simple:
“Just leave him alone, because it’s not actually him that you like, but the dick that you’re in love with.”

I mean, yeah the sex is great between us, but it’s not just that. Lately we’ve been going outside the box, and doing things just a little different in my opinion. The phone calls have gotten more consistent and more in depth. The time spent between us is just as passionate as the first day. I find myself starring into his eyes and thinking about him in between breaks, and it just feels so damn good to be in his arms at night. It’s like we are more than friends just having sex, but less than boyfriend and girlfriend.

I just feel that everything would be so much easier if we both just slept together that one night, and never saw each other again. But obviously since that didn’t happen, I’ve got to figure out what it is that I am going to do and quick. I have a strange feeling that things are just going to get more complicated and chaotic between me and him, and life in general. You know what they say, “A woman’s intuition is never wrong.” So all I’m thinking is:

What should I do?

What would you do?


About The Other Syde of Me
Welcome to the home of the The Other Syde of Me Blog. The Other Syde of Me, is the blogging site of two higherly educated and never to be underestimated divas from the South. Friends, SISTUHS, Co-Signer/ Co-Defendants, Accomplices, Ying and Yang, are just a few of the words you can use to describe the bond between the two. In order to know one, you must know the other, without both pieces, the picture will never be clear. Living parallel lives but differing in view points, travel into the drama that this two call life. The First Chapter begins....

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